in Hmm Weekly
on July 15, 2021

HOW MANY iPHONES are we up to now, 10? Or is it X? OK, it’s 12, right? Anyway, up until a coupla weeks ago, I haz iPhone 6. Then, some shit that I need for work was all like, “You need the Apple Oh-Ess for our stuff, the new Apple Operating System,” and Apple is like “LOL your phone is not good enough for the new Apple OS, so now it’s time to CONSUME NEW PRODUCT.”

What? New iPhones cost Hundreds, sometimes bordering beyond One Thousand of dollars! I’m like “OK, fuckers, I will buy the next iteration of iPhone, up from my 6, used! Fuck you to your rotten Apple-core!

I dropped two hundred bucks on a used iPhone 7 from stupid-ass Verizon, who offered me Zero Dollars and No Cents for my iPhone 6 as trade-in. Meanwhile, ha! I beat you, Apple! I think!

Then I realized the “new” Apple 7 iPhone doesn’t have a hole to plug in a cable for AUDIO. They (and you know who They are) decided to combinate the Power hole and the Sound hole into one hole, and that means I can’t plug the audio cassette adapter thing that I used in my car to hear sound from my iPhone 6 into my “new” iPhone. SO BORING!

My car is in the shop so I can’t take a picture of my cassette-thing, but this is what it is. You plug this in to the sound-hole they used to have on the iPhone and then you can hear the stuff on your car radio cassette deck. I KNOW.

So I hadda buy an Adapter to my Adapter so I can listen to Satellite Radio in my old-ass car with the cassette deck in it. Urf!

Anyway, I spent Two hundred and Some-Odd Dollars and I Dunno How Many Cents and I now can do Business on my phone and also listen to the SatRad, until They decide my iPhone 7 can’t run the next Operating System, but for now, I win! I think!