COLUMNS

MR. WRONG: Standard Deviation

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Do you even have a clock? Don’t you just look at your phone? Your microwave oven, maybe?

From Hmm Weekly
On November 12, 2021

MR. WRONG: Check, Please

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Do you know and/or remember what “checks” are?

From Hmm Weekly
On July 22, 2021

MR. WRONG: LATE ADAPTER

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Meanwhile, ha! I beat you, Apple! I think!

From Hmm Weekly
On July 15, 2021

MR. WRONG: Summer of Spam

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Meanwhile, whose Summer is it? All I can think is: Summer of Sam, that was an Ownership of a Summer, you could look it up!

From Hmm Weekly
On June 1, 2021

MR. WRONG: CICADA

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Cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 18, 2021

MR. WRONG: Office Birthday

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The Man wants Control. The Man wants you to Obey. The Man wants theirs first, dig? The Man is not your friend, and not your fam! The Man!

From Hmm Weekly
On May 11, 2021

MR. WRONG: Mars Needs Robots

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Anyway, don’t go to Mars, seriously, I heard there’s this seasonal methane release on Mars that the Scientists have observed.

From Hmm Weekly
On April 14, 2021

MR. WRONG: Price Clubbing

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Slice my ham, stop fooling around!

From Hmm Weekly
On April 8, 2021

MR. WRONG: Hold The Onions

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EVERY TIME I chop onions (I am not good at it) I remember that movie about Julia Child where she enrolled in the famous Cordon Bleu, and there was a lab where the baby Bleus hadda learn how to chop the onions, because the onion is a building block of gastronomy or something. Your whole […]

From Hmm Weekly
On February 19, 2021

ASK THE SOPHIST: May I Call Out My Friend for Jumping the Vaccination Line?

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Dear The Sophist, My friend chose to “misread” our state’s vaccine requirements—on purpose, because supposedly “everyone else” was doing it at her K-8 school—and skipped the line ahead of people who are 70+ and healthcare workers/staff because it’s an honor system to sign up. Our group text told her she was wrong but she chose to […]

From Hmm Weekly
On February 16, 2021

ASK THE SOPHIST: Should I Attend a Funeral With Republican Relatives or Is It Time to Start Running?

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I am torn between the guilt of obligation to attend the funeral, and a powerful desire to continue to not speak to these people.

From Hmm Weekly
On February 8, 2021

MR. WRONG: Superb Owl!

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I know that right now is not really a time when lots of people should be getting together to watch the Big Game, or even a little game.

From Hmm Weekly
On February 4, 2021

MR. WRONG: Groundhog!

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Personally, I do not want to eat a Groundhog.

From Hmm Weekly
On February 2, 2021

MR. WRONG: Pump It Up

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It's a game of Chicken! I would feel bad if a bunch of regular people got burned.

From Hmm Weekly
On January 29, 2021

Corporate America Rewards Trump Enablers With Cushy Jobs

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Trump staffers are worried that the insurrection might hurt their career opportunities, but many of their former colleagues had no trouble finding nice jobs in the political influence industry.

From Sludge
On January 19, 2021