Posts from Hmm Weekly

Weather Review: June 13, 2021

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The lawn of Carl Schurz Park and the river each gave off their own humid aromas. Ailanthus crowded in on the transverse at 96th Street on the cab ride back.

From Hmm Weekly
On June 17, 2021

COMMERCE DEP’T.

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We wanted to make sure to get a 1.6 gallon tank, because one issue on which I do basically agree with the previous president of the United States is the inadequacy of weak-flushing water-saving toilets.

From Hmm Weekly
On June 15, 2021

Weather Review: June 6, 2021

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Outside, hard sun immediately triggered a sneeze that ruined a nearly new surgical mask.

From Hmm Weekly
On June 9, 2021

DEP’T. OF HEALTH: I Failed My Blood Test

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If you got the COVID, after you recover, the proof doesn’t stay in your blood for long, it’s like the Common Cold, you get one, you get over it, you are somehow not able to get another cold for awhile, and then eventually you get another goddamn cold. I sure hope America is ready for that kinda Reality with COVID-19.

From Hmm Weekly
On June 8, 2021

Weather Review: May 30, 2021

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A truly shabby robin, looking part drowned and part plucked, flew off with a worm or something wormlike in its beak.

From Hmm Weekly
On June 3, 2021

MR. WRONG: Summer of Spam

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Meanwhile, whose Summer is it? All I can think is: Summer of Sam, that was an Ownership of a Summer, you could look it up!

From Hmm Weekly
On June 1, 2021

A Month’s-End Associated Press (AP) Photographic Celebration Of: CICADA

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Hmm Weekly has been placed in charge of burning our unused subscription photos, and in honor of Brood X, we invite you to please enjoy this mass emergence of CICADA.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 31, 2021

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.: LADY MARY SANDWICHES

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These sandwiches are delicious with hot chocolate.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 27, 2021

Weather Review: May 23, 2021

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WITH THE AIR conditioner turned off, a cleaning rag left flat to dry overnight on the sink’s edge was musty by morning. But the heavy air was thinning out and a wind was picking up as the sun, unsoftened by haze, baked down. The screen of a phone with its camera pointed skyward was overwhelmed […]

From Hmm Weekly
On May 27, 2021

WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS SHIT DEP’T.

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WILL YOU SERIOUSLY

From Hmm Weekly
On May 26, 2021

NATURAL HISTORY DEP’T.

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All over the county, for 17 and 34 and 51 years, people had been putting cul de sac developments and Panera Bread parking lots on top of them.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 25, 2021

Ten Writing Issues a Computer Found in This Possibly Computer-Written Press Release

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Now nobody’s accusing anybody of plagiarism, that’s just Grammarly dot com being Grammarly dot com.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 22, 2021

ANDY ROONEY 2.0 DEP’T.: The Sidewalk

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I'd looked at this pattern before, over and over, but not properly seen it: the pavement looked like a window screen—maybe it always had? Maybe I had been looking at it all my life without seeing it.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 20, 2021

MR. WRONG: CICADA

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Cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada cicada.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 18, 2021

DEP’T. OF HEALTH: The Second Pfizer Shot

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I had been dreading the second-shot side effects yet also, honestly, kind of looking forward to them.

From Hmm Weekly
On May 13, 2021