Posts from Hmm Weekly

HELLO, THIS IS the Mr. Wrong column. You probably didn’t ask for it, or order it or whatever, so it’s not your fault. The Mr. Wrong column is a General Interest Column about things that are of interest to the Mr. Wrong column, and it is part of what you get for signing up as […]

SOME THINGS ONLY exist in fantasy novels, which is the point. You read about them to imagine an experience you could never have in the ordinary world. They don’t all have to be things of awesome or epic character. Lembas, for instance. Through the decades since I first read Lord of the Rings as a […]

I am all about pretty much anything made with cauliflower

Goofballs are driving out to some national park to see a piece of metal

I BOUGHT A bag of these CAULIFLOWER STALKS at the price club because I always want to enjoy new crunchies, and if it’s healthy somehow, that’s great. I’m willing to roll the dice, like on those boring taro chips I bought once, bleagh. This MADE WITH REAL CAULIFLOWER snack is cheese flavored, and when I popped open the […]

"I lay there shaking. And then I try to be quiet again.”

“I was talking to my sister the other day and we were like: ‘Do we need to get a gun?'"

It’s as if I have been drafted by a war against regular suburban people.”

If you jump in and out of the market at the right times, that’s where you make some real dough.

“Falling into bed is about embracing the only portion of the day that I own.”

“I couldn’t get through to people how much in a panic I was."

"I know there is a God. I beat homelessness and prostate cancer."

“I’m OK during the day, but my fear comes at night. I start to shake uncontrollably.”